Monday, May 31, 2010

言い訳!?

大ちゃんの初体験(初動物園、初水族館等)のたびに、カメラの充電が切れたりして、写真が撮れていない・・・。でも、これは心のシャッターを切れって事なんだろうな・・・って思う。写真って素敵だけど、やっぱり一番大切なのは、心のシャッターです。

Sunday, May 30, 2010

打ち上げ

久しぶりに、子供やダーリンなしで、飲みました。夜中3時の帰宅。

被爆者のVolunteerの打ち上げだったよ。楽しかった。本当、この経験は一生忘れないし、これからも続けていきたい!!!

これ(下)は、ジアンニがManhattan Collegeで偽翻訳をやった時。いい経験になったかな?

Friday, May 21, 2010

JC

Dear JC

I hope you are having good time there.
I hope you are walking, running, dancing, laughing, talking, crying....
I hope you are eating good foods and drink something quench!
I hope you are having family get together...

You never complained your pain nor showed discomfort.
You were very brave and understanding.

I miss you.

RIP, JC....!

Monday, May 17, 2010

I pray....


I am not really religious person. When people ask me what's my religion, I say Buddhism but I don't even know so much about it. As you may know, Japan has mixed religions with Shindo and Buddhism. Our culture reflects on those 2 religions very naturally and somehow adopts to both of them.

No matter what you believe, I believe it's the same thing after all....

I pray for everyone's peace and health. I thank to god/Buddha/family/friends/teachers/and so on...every morning. My prayer became stronger since I started to work. I face to people who are at borderline of death/live, I appreciate every little thing I do that I have been taking it for granted such as being able to breath, eat, speak, walk, going to bathroom....

I feel destiny and message from god (or universe or whatever it's called that I feel) I was meant to work at my work and learn and grow there.

I am at slow pace to absorb things I need to remember but I make sure I reach to the point I am at expectant of my work and someday go beyond it.

I thank for everything happening to me....

Sunday, May 16, 2010

WILL

Since I started to work, I have less craving for meat, especially chicken. I actually haven't had any meat for few weeks now. I love my seafood and I enjoy them but meat....... I love steak, I love chicken, I love pork, too sad to say but I like horse, I love all kind of meat including those organ meats but now...it reminds me of many things I see at work.

I just want to be a healthy individual, so I can have healthy life.

I am saying here now just in case accident happens to me tomorrow or near future (I make sure I have my wills by the age of 50)...

Do not give me tracheostomy.
Do not give me tube feeding.
If I am vegetable, please let me go.
Please give me maximum drug to release the pain I have.
Do not let me be alive with any other medical devices or medicine or treatment unless you know I will be NORMAL again.

Please donate my body parts to people who need it.
Do not use my body to do research/experiment.

Don't worry, I am Buddhist...even if I die, I would be back and see you somewhere somehow sometime! I love you all!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Reading testimony

I had a chance to volunteer for a group whose group gave speech at Manhattan College. Leader of volunteer group told volunteers it would be informal translation and our job will be supporting the survivors of Hiroshima/Nagasaki. I am not good at translation but I thought I could help little, so I decided to do it. However, I realized, on they way to Mahattan College, I had to do one person's whole speech. Oh no! I can't do it!!! I looked at my son and had a great idea! Even though he hardly understands Japanese, he can at least read English. Mr.Ikeda, the speaker, had English statement already, so all what my son needed to do was to read after him. 

I hope my son will remember this experience. It was very very very emotional for me and exhausting because of my new work schedule but it was definitely priceless experience. Thank you for my BF who supported me to do volunteer and took care of kids while I was out. Without him, I can't do anything. Thank you. I love you!


Sunday, May 2, 2010

Hiroshima and Nagasaki


A lady that I respect in many ways sent me (and others) email about volunteering for survivors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki who are coming to NYC to voice peace at UN. I have left Japan 13 years ago and I was becoming less aware of those tragic events. The first thing it came to my mind was my grandfather who is a veteran of WWII. He was in shock when he found out I wanted to go to ENEMY'S country. He never wanted to come to the states and I was impressed by the fact those survivors are coming here to voice peace rather than blaming on America.

Anyways, I decided to be part of the volunteering team. At orientation, I was in tears by just listening to song.

I COME AND STAND AT EVERY DOOR
[Dead Little Girl of Hiroshima]
(words by Nazim Hikmet, English translation by Jeanette Turner)

I come and stand at every door,
But none can hear my silent tread.
I knock, and yet remain unseen,
For I am dead, for I am dead.

I'm only seven, though I died
In Hiroshima long ago.
I'm seven now as I was then -
When children die, they do not grow.

My hair was scorched by swirling flame;
My eyes grew dim, grew dim and blind.
Death came and turned my bones to dust,
And that was scattered by the wind.

I need no fruit, I need no rice.
I need no sweets, or even bread;
I ask for nothing for myself,
For I am dead, for I am dead.

All that I ask is that for peace
You fight today, you fight today,
So that the children of the world
May live and grow and laugh and play!

 



It was my first day to face to survivors yesterday. I escorted them with sightseeing and shopping. Of course they are aging, so they were very slow and tired but their energy level was way up high and they are committed for their mission. All asked if they could go to ground zero. We volunteers took them there. One man looked at ground zero in his tears and said "HITONO INOCHIWO NANDATO OMOTTEIRUNDA!" (I can't translate his statement very well but what he meant was he can't believe how some take human's life in this way) I could have felt his anger and sympathy.

I asked one lady if she could share the story with me and she kindly took her time and told me her story. Her sister whose back is burnt, father died after 3 years of suffering from radioactive effects, what ABCC has done to her family, her memories kept going on..... But at the end, surprisingly she said to me "I am very glad it was America who dropped the bomb" I couldn't understand why she can even say such a thing. I asked her to explain to me what she meant by that. She said Japan recovered from such tragic events very quickly and successfully because America supported Japan in so many ways. She received lots of foods, clothing, and even letters from American citizens. She told me American people are very warm, kind, and caring. I thought about my grandpa who couldn't see America in different way like she did. But I do know my grandpa is here with me after his death smiling at his AMERICAN great grandchildren...., right? Grandpa?

My story will continue....after I come back from today's rally from Times Square to UN!!!

I just wanted to write what I felt at this moment rather than remembering what I think I felt later on....

On my way to rally...