Many people tell me I am such a great person because I am raising children, working and going back to school. But I think they are just wrong! Those people who are telling me such a thing already accomplished their education when we were all supposed to be while I was just young and dumb. But hey, I appreciate your thoughts!
Now my another class started today....already my stomach is tight and uneasy. I am sure I will see my hair falling again.
I know I am so blessed to be able to continue my education at my age but I wish I was done with this already.
Children, please don't go same path as I do. Mama pushes you guys so hard everyday but I have reasons. I don't want you to be nothing like me but be at your best all the time. Please go to school and learn when you are young. I know the temptation and laziness. I am sure you all inherited from me.
Dear my oldest son, I have reasons why I push you hard everyday. I regret I didn't continue anything. My parents gave me chances to take classes for gymnastics, swimming, piano, kumon and so on but I gave up all of them except English class. I wish my parents just kept pushing me to continue these classes even if I wasn't nearly good at them. I don't want you to go through my path. I don't mind you hating me now but I know someday you will understand why I am pushing you. You are one gifted child, please realize you have so much potentials.
よく知り合いに「さっちゃん、えらいねえ。」って言われるけど、どうしてよっ！？って思うのだ。皆の方がすごいのに・・・。ちゃんと高校出て、ちゃんと大学出て、ちゃんとお勤めして、ちゃんと結婚して、ちゃんと子供育てているのに・・・？なんでそんなちゃんとした人達に、私が偉いさんよばわりされるのだろうか！？
はいはい、確かに今はなんとなく子育てして、仕事して、学校もいってる。確かに聞いただけでは、なんてスーパー女性！って感じだけど、実際はそうでもないのよ・・・。涙。あまり美化しないでね、私の事は。ただのびびり野朗だからさ。
はう～、またクラスが始まってナーバスになってきた。また下痢と抜け毛と睡眠不足の生活がはじまります。抜け毛のところにハワイアンテナ植えておこ。あったかくなりそうだ。
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